I'm thankful for each and every day. We never know when time is up.
I came from the South with a mother who was hard working, so I love going to work every day.
I've been largely an improvisational actor for most of my career, except for when I've worked with the Coen brothers.
Even a fish wouldn't get into trouble if it kept its mouth shut.
The Gentlemen of England serve under the greatest cad in Europe.
There've been times where I wondered whether it was worth continuing in my own education.
I don't think you have to have experienced things to understand them.
Everything I do is somehow connected to velocity.
The nice thing about anger is that, as an emotion, it's strong enough to unplug me from the comedian's mind for a minute and just be a frustrated member of the citizenry.
I want to try something on situational comedy.
As a politician, I worked very, very hard in order to maintain the unity of our country. That was my aim.
Where we come from in America no longer signifies. It's where we go, and what we do when we get there, that tells us who we are.
I wouldn't be an entrepreneur if it wasn't for my daughter.
Flatulence peaks twice a day... Five hours after lunch and five hours after dinner.
Lying has a kind of respect and reverence with it. We pay a person the compliment of acknowledging his superiority whenever we lie to him.
Below the navel there is neither religion nor truth.
A clear conscience laughs at false accusations.
The winner has many friends, the loser has good friends.
A fool's tongue is long enough to cut his own throat.
Time is a wealth of change, but the clock in its parody makes it mere change and no wealth.
When the sky falls we'll all catch larks.
He that is warm thinks all so.
Silence was never written down.
If you would shoot a general, shoot his horse first.
With money, a dragon - without it, a worm.
Silence is the voice of complicity.
Do not rejoice at my grief, for when mine is old yours will be new.
If the mountain won't come to mohammed, mohammed must go to the mountain.
Before telling secrets on the road, look in the bushes.
The eye that sees all things else, sees not itself.
