It's fun being Bill Engvall.
There is no surer token of a little mind than to imagine that anything in the way of physical labor is dishonoring.
We don't expect anything to come out of the rules committee.
People who have a reputation for being evil are usually good.
President Johnson offered the middle of the road.
The goal every day of my life is to make some sort of artistic difference on a more profound level than just moshing.
The revenge that is postponed is not forgotten.
I still feel that I'm capable of being as emotionally present as when I was young.
One must know combinations, one must have a true knowledge of food to be in the moment.
How high can bitcoin go? The real question is how low can the dollar go?
Love that is not jealous is neither true nor pure.
There's something about soft, unstructured arms that's very beautiful.
Gwen Stefani was just the most incredible frontwoman. She was the total cool girl.
I think more and more respect has been accorded to teachers, and quite rightly so.
When I rest, I can talk. When I don't rest, I can't talk.
Below the navel there is neither religion nor truth.
A clear conscience laughs at false accusations.
The winner has many friends, the loser has good friends.
A fool's tongue is long enough to cut his own throat.
When the sky falls we'll all catch larks.
Time is a wealth of change, but the clock in its parody makes it mere change and no wealth.
He that is warm thinks all so.
If you would shoot a general, shoot his horse first.
With money, a dragon - without it, a worm.
Silence was never written down.
Silence is the voice of complicity.
Do not rejoice at my grief, for when mine is old yours will be new.
If the mountain won't come to mohammed, mohammed must go to the mountain.
Before telling secrets on the road, look in the bushes.
The eye that sees all things else, sees not itself.
