Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.
Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
We submit to the majority because we have to. But we are not compelled to call our attitude of subjection a posture of respect.
The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up.
Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
Revolution, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.
It is evident that skepticism, while it makes no actual change in man, always makes him feel better.
Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced.
Enthusiasm - a distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward applications of experience.
A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their desolating incursions.
Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.
Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.
Consult To seek approval for a course of action already decided upon.
Genius - to know without having learned; to draw just conclusions from unknown premises; to discern the soul of things.
Amnesty, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.
Divorce a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
Rum, n. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.
Battle, n., A method of untying with the teeth a political knot that would not yield to the tongue.
Meekness Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.
Vote the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
Beauty, n the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
Inventor A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.
