I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I am certainly not an authority on love because there are no authorities on love, just those who've had luck with it and those who haven't.
Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.
I think the part of media that romanticizes criminal behavior, things that a person will say against women, profanity, being gangster, having multiple children with multiple men and women and not wanting to is prevalent. When you look at the majority of shows on television they placate that kind of behavior.
Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes.
A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.
No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.
My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood, but it didn't because parenting can only be learned by people who have no children.
Every success story has a parent who says, 'over my dead body.' Every success story has an old person who walks up to you and says, when you're acting the fool, 'you know I worry about you sometimes.'
Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice.
The very first law in advertising is to avoid the concrete promise and cultivate the delightfully vague.