I must say that I am rather partial to funny dog videos.
Stand-up comedy is not for the faint-hearted or the thin-skinned.
Seeing a full room of punters queuing for my show is always heartening.
I am the first to admit that I have never been a household name.
Making people laugh is the only thing I've ever done naturally.
Apathy in youth culture is pretty stark.
I find it pressurising coming to the Voodoo Rooms to do my hour of comedy.
I even like the Scottish weather because, like everywhere in the U.K., you can't have great beauty without lots of rain.
I like to call myself numerically dyslexic, but officially, I am mathematically thick.
How I've fed my kids over the years is by doing stand-up comedy in clubs.
All kids should vote - it gives them the opportunity to whinge afterwards because you can't complain if you haven't voted.
I might get a break again, and I might get back on telly. If I don't, I'll just keep doing stand-up and doing the best gigs I can.
It's not cool to be star-struck.
I always think stand-up is the most brutal environment for a comedian.
There is nothing quite as loud as the silence of an audience when a comedian is on stage.
My job is to make people laugh. If I've upset them instead, then I haven't done my job properly.
Never trust a television executive.
Tom has a gilded life which I have had a glimpse of. Yes, he does travel in private jets.
I am a professional comedian, a published novelist, and a general wit for hire.
I am not a natural show-off. Some of the monster comedians are terrifyingly assured, and I don't have that, and that's held me back.
I don't like false modesty.
When I phoned up and said, 'Mum, I'm doing a 52-date national tour with Eddie Izzard,' she said 'That's nice, dear. How are you?'
