You never know what is happening to yourself when it is happening.
You have to be very, very good looking to get ahead in motion pictures.
You cannot tell an audience a lie. They know it before you do; before it's out of your mouth, they know it's a lie.
You can't be funny unless you're tragic, and you can't be tragic unless you're funny.
Why haven't I made more movies? Nobody asked me.
When I'm playing comedy, it is such a crap shoot of what will work and what won't.
When I want to do something badly enough, I do it, but there is a practical side of me that thinks I should be paid fairly.
This age thing is all up to you. It's like happiness is up to you. You just have to understand what it is before you get it.
There's something that really frightens me - and that's fear.
There's something about it that makes sense, Lent. You give something up, and everything's more joyful.
There's certainly nothing lasting and definite about the theater.
There will always be ladies who lunch. Always. And apparently they live a long time.
There were a lot of lyrics that I sang but didn't understand. But I had this facade in performance of looking like I wrote the book.
There are a lot of things I do that I don't want to, but I have to. It's truly an emotional need for me to perform.
The people in New York - their humor is on a level that goes, uh, very deep, you know?
Talent is very dangerous. It alienates people.
Talent is seductive.
Quite frankly I don't know how to be happy. I have not a clue.
New Yorkers stop me on the street all the time to say, 'You're terrific! You're the nuts!'
My movie career - if such a thing even exists - is laughable.
My idea of serenity - that wonderful word that everybody's trying to get into their life - is call-waiting.
My biggest dream was to get out of Michigan - to discover life beyond the Sacred Heart Convent.
Making clever speeches takes a lot of work and a lot of time.
Isn't this fantastic, what a star I am?
If I see someone saying the rosary in the wings, I know they've got talent.
I'm loaded with talent.
I'm funny when I want to be. And I'm even funny when I don't want to be.
I'm a hotel baby, absolutely it's hard to think of a hotel I haven't stayed in.
I'm a good acting partner for me... When I don't have anyone else, I do really well!
I think the most interesting New Yorkers are the people who were not born here.
