Here's the rule of thumb When the entire family looks like the unibomber, they're against gay marriage.
I like to keep busy, because otherwise I'd be languishing by myself.
I'm very careful with my money.
I don't have jokes that I can't defend.
The media is a very necessary thing in our country to keep people honest.
I hate my hair so much.
You never want your greatest work to be 10 years ago.
Ozzy Osbourne is one of my favorite interviews, he's so good.
I once had a therapist fall asleep on me. That really wrecks your self-esteem.
Language in comedy is very violent.
There are just some things that I don't think jokes are good for.
I know I'm funny, and I like to be in front of people, and the fact that I'm good at that. It's the one thing that gave me self-esteem.
I have cowlicks, so my hair has always been a source of torture for me.
I'm always tired.
I get bored really fast.
I hate a well-lit room.
Anyone who can't tell the difference between a joke and hate speech is just stupid.
I am a really bad boyfriend.
To me the important thing for a comic to be is emotionally honest.
I am a degenerate, and I know that.
I get away with 10 times more on 'Leno' than I would on any other show.
I don't care if I offend people. I really don't care.
Well, audiences will laugh at a lot of things that comedians won't.
