We were on welfare when we were kids. Thanks for reminding me of that.
I was kind of a Rickles comic to begin with. I was caustic, and I was abusive and mean to the audience.
I was with a famous comedian when a young fan walked up and asked for an autograph. The comedian blew him off. I'll never forget the look on the young boy's face. He was devastated.
We all think we're going to get out of debt.
Minnesotans really think they run the whole world, I love that.
I have a very warm spot in my heart for Vegas.
I started a big part of my career in Vegas.
I'm a 7 o'clock act. My people want to go to a show, a dinner and then go home and go to bed.
I can't stay long; I'm in between meals.
All great comedians make me laugh, but people make me laugh more.
If I have food in the house and I'm laying in bed, I go, 'I bet that Captain Crunch is lonely in the cupboard.'
You can't open anything after your 50. You have to wait 'til people stop by the house. 'Oh my God, I'm glad you're here.'
Well, isn't every successful person in every family the bankbook?
I was 10th of 11 kids in an alcoholic, abusive, poor family. We all want things that we can't have. And I found comedy.
I would trade everything I have to have had a happier childhood.
