Milton Berle

Chanakya Neeti - Eleventh Chapter , English Proverb , Manning Barish , Arabic Proverb , Chanakya Neeti - Third Chapter

Home / Authors /
Milton Berle

Donate
English हिन्दी ગુજરાતી
Quotes

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.

Milton Berle
funny
Quotes

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.

Milton Berle
owe , lot , thomas
Quotes

They've finally comes up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.

Milton Berle
finally , up , perfect
Quotes

The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.

Milton Berle
company , accountant , shy
Quotes

Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.

Milton Berle
sex
Quotes

Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient.

Milton Berle
poverty , terribly
Quotes

People say I owe a lot to television. The fact is I was a star long before television. What TV made me is unemployed.

Milton Berle
people , owe , lot
Quotes

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

Milton Berle
doctor , me , jogging
Quotes

Money can't buy you happiness, but it helps you look for it in a lot more places.

Milton Berle
money , buy , helps
Quotes

Like every comedian, if I heard a joke that I thought would work, I used it.

Milton Berle
like , every , heard
Quotes

Laughter is an instant vacation.

Milton Berle
laughter , instant , vacation
Quotes

It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now.

Milton Berle
amazing , how , fast
Quotes

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

Milton Berle
opportunity , build
Quotes

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

Milton Berle
evolution , really , how
Quotes

I'd like to tell you some jokes now, but you'd only laugh.

Milton Berle
like , tell , you , some , jokes