Tommy Cooper

Chanakya Neeti - Eleventh Chapter , English Proverb , Manning Barish , Arabic Proverb , Chanakya Neeti - Third Chapter

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Tommy Cooper

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English हिन्दी ગુજરાતી
Quotes

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'

Tommy Cooper
somebody , actually , me
Quotes

Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!

Tommy Cooper
marriage
Quotes

They always say start at the bottom if you want to learn something. But suppose you want to learn to swim?

Tommy Cooper
always , start , bottom
Quotes

The town was so dull one day the tide went out, and it never came back.

Tommy Cooper
town , dull , day
Quotes

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'

Tommy Cooper
car
Quotes

My wife said, 'Take me in your arms and whisper something soft and sweet.' I said, 'chocolate fudge.'

Tommy Cooper
wife , me , your
Quotes

My wife had a bad habit of biting her nails, but I cured her. I hid her teeth.

Tommy Cooper
wife , had , bad
Quotes

Last night I slept like a log. I woke up in the fire place.

Tommy Cooper
last , night , slept
Quotes

Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone.

Tommy Cooper
last , night , dreamt
Quotes

Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.

Tommy Cooper
last , night , dreamed
Quotes

It doesn't matter how many times the audience has heard it before. If it's funny, it's funny.

Tommy Cooper
matter , how , many
Quotes

I've got a wife who never misses me. Her aim is perfect!

Tommy Cooper
got , wife , never
Quotes

I'm recovering from a cold. I'm so full of penicillin that, if I sneeze, I'll cure someone.

Tommy Cooper
recovering , full , penicillin
Quotes

I'm on a whisky diet... Last week, I lost three days!

Tommy Cooper
whisky , last , lost
Quotes

I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.

Tommy Cooper
window , shopping , bought